Prof Doepel showed this song to us last year in German 2. It's a german song that means Only for you. I fell in love with the song then! it's just so cute! :D Basically it's about how this guy sat through the whole bridget jones movie, picked up running running, finished all the harry potter books, burned all his playboy magazines etc etc only for his girlfried, but in the end she dumped him.
I was scrolling through my OLD blog. the one i had in J2.. and I found this entry lol I was such a drama mama. :P
Today was probably one of my worst and most embarrassing days of my life...
It all started I guess this morning... When I took medication for my cramps and ate breakfast. I was afraid I'd be late and so I ran to the MRT station.
I think that was a bad idea..
The moment I reached the station... I felt really horrible and faint... HuiLing and XiaoXuan were there... Hui Ling was like... You can still get off and go home if you're not feeling well. But against my better judgment, I stayed on the train. =x
The moment the train moved... I felt really really bad.... The motion churned my stomach and I started feeling really terrible... There was an intense pain in my stomach.. The ride to Commonwealth station from Queenstown was the worst and the longest I have ever had to endure...
Upon reaching Commonwealth I felt like throwing up. My stomach contracted even worse and... Well you know... The feeling you get when you're vomiting.... But nothing came out... I thought probably I had some digestive problems... Just go toilet bah...
That didn't work though.... In the toilet... Nothing happened... But the pain just got even more worse and I felt like dying... I kept on calling out to Hui Ling.. It was so painful... Think if I had the energy I would have been screaming.. But I could only clutch the toilet roll holder really tightly and wish that it would all go away...
I finally felt so suffocated I made my way out of the toilet to the corridor just outside. Ahh.... Fresh air. But for some reason... The pain made my legs like jelly.... I sat... Then I lay on the floor outside the toilet. At first... I had intended to lie for a while, when I felt better than I'd go home. But I never felt better... And I kept on groaning.
Eventually, someone called the ambulance for me... Thankfully... =) While we were waiting... The people at Commonwealth station rubbed some medicated oil for me... It helped much... =)
In no time, the paramedics reached and I got carried up the stairs into the bedlike thingy. Then wheeled all the way to the lift. I have never been so embarrassed before... RVH is nearby and the whole station was swarming with students and they were all staring at me... I felt like burrowing myself deep within the blanket and never coming out again...
The lift was so full of students and one of the paramedics was like... Isn't the lift for non-able bodied people?? How come it's so full of students?? Haha... I was thinking.. I am usually one of those students that take the lift.. =x
When I was being wheeled down the ramp... The careless paramedic pushing me hooked my leg onto the railing and my ankle somewhat twisted. Naturally... I screamed in pain... The best part was the other paramedic was like Why you scream? What happened?? Her tone was like... Why in heaven's name are you screaming for no reason... -.-''
Luckily, no damage done there...
When I reached the hospital.. I was SUPER scared.... I hoped feverently I didn't have appendicitis like Rupa. I'd have to go on MC... I'd be operated on... I'd get lots of jabs... I was extremely terrified.
I guess on the lucky side I only got 2 extremely painful jabs. It eased the pain a lot.. But it didn't make it go away. =(
They weren't sure what was wrong with me... Kept on asking me if I had my menses... What day of the cycle was it... Then they asked me to give them a urine sample. I couldn't. -.-'' I had left whatever wastes of my body in Commonwealth toilet... There was nothing left.
So a kind nurse gave me a full cup of warm water.. Which I couldn't finish but no matter... And they had to wait. Haha... Wait until I could go to the toilet. =x
After giving them the sample I was awake for awhile... Then slept... I was so tired... And it seemed like a damn comfortable way to forget the pain..
That was basically my ordeal today...
During which... I have realised my parents don't love me or don't really care that much about me and think I'm faking all this..
Starts when I was in the toilet and I asked HL to call mummy. I told her I was at Commonwealth station and was in real pain... And I needed her to send me back coz it was really bad.... You know what she says?!?!?!!!! She says she cannot pick me as she has to send daddy to hospital for an appointment at 8!
Apparently she had the mistaken impression that i was in school. Said that the maid didn't say i was at Commonwealth station. But knowing my mom... She has selective hearing... So if she thought i was in school.. She sometimes doesn't listen to the little details. Anyway this had happened before 7. Even if I had reached school she could still pick me up and send daddy to the hospital on time. -.-''
So she happily tells me to take a train home... I said I couldn't make it home by train... And so she suggested a cab. How's that for a caring mother??!? Outside the toilet.. Called her again to say the ambulance was coming. And she talked to me in that tone that says what you need the ambulance for? I was so hurt by her... I can't believe she's my mom...
And for the most cutting remark.... This came from my dad.
Mummy came to the hospital at 7 plus... Just before I got my jabs... And she said Daddy says you are so drama. I just felt like screaming and throwing things at her there and then... It's not as if I had wanted to go to hospital. It's not like I asked for any of this. It's not like I'm so attention-starved I have to fake a stomache just to get attention!!!
I hate them when they're so inconsiderate. I know they love me... But sometimes... They can be so inconsiderate and hurting... And they don't really know how to show it. Bad enough mummy's always going out dancing and god knows what else with her friends, she also hardly talks to us as all her time at home is spent on the phone!!! And my dad... He's always at work. Plus the fact he's so fierce and used to be the one caning and scolding us. He's also got a tongue that can cut you really deep... He just doesn't care about our feelings... If he wants to scold, he would call us any degrading and insulting name...
I wonder how I managed to survive so long in my dysfunctional family. Even jie talks about problems with our parents... They're so.... I dunno... They just cannot connect with their children.. Except maybe mei... Bcoz she doesn't get into their bad books...
Whatever la... I can almost hate my parents right now... I wish they could be like normal parents and show me concern. Hell... How often does your daughter with not a single medical problem gets admitted to hospital??!?!!!
Sigh... Some concern they've shown. At the hospital and the journey back.. Mummy was on the phone the whole damn time. -.-
What is somebody like you doin' in a place like this?
Say did you come alone or did you bring all your friends?
Say whats your name? What you drinking?
I think I know what are you thinking
Baby whats your sign,
tell me yours and ill tell you mine
Say What is someone like you doin' in a place like this?
I'll never be the same
If we ever meet again
Won't let you get away
If we ever meet again
This freefall's got me me so
kiss me all night,
don't ever let me go
Ill never be the same
if we ever meet again
Do you come here much?
I swear I've seen your face before
You don't see me blush
but I cant help to want you more more
Baby tel me whats youre story?
I ain't shy, don't you worry
I'm flirting with my eyes
I wanna leave with you tonight
do you come here much?
I've gotta see your face some more
(some more Cause baby I)
I'll never be the same
If we ever meet again
Won't let you get away
If we ever meet again
This free fall's got me me so
kiss me all night,
don't ever let me go
Ill never be the same
if we ever meet again
If we ever meet again,
I'll have so much more to say
(Say if we ever meet again)
If we ever meet again, again
I wont let you go away
(Say if we ever meet again)
If we ever, ever meet again
I'll have so much more to say
(Say if we ever meet again)
If we ever, ever meet again
I wont let you go away!
I'll never be the same
If we ever meet again
Won't let you get away
If we ever meet again
This free fall's got me me so
kiss me all night,
don't ever let me go
Ill never be the same
if we ever meet again
I'll never be the same
If we ever meet again
Won't let you get away
If we ever meet again
This free fall's got me me so
kiss me all night,
don't ever let me go
Ill never be the same
if we ever meet again
YAYYYY! Project from hell is finally over. I crashed the whole day today. :)
Stupid CP boss kept trying to contact me these few days. I WANT TO KILL HER. She knowingly has an event this Saturday and does not plan early when we were all freer. She always waits till the last minute, and kept calling Kaiwen over this stupid matter.
UGH I HATE HER.
I just saw this Chivas advert on Star World.. There were people riding horses on the beach side.. with the waves crashing in. I think i would love do that once in my life. (:
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Have pretty mixed feelings about the cross elections...
I feel it was not as fair as it could have been, but what can I do.
The cross team has this wordpress blog that everybody contributes entries on the different events. We most recently had a carnival and next thing you know, 3 people, (myself included) posted entries on the blog. This is mine...
Disclaimer: This is a very long-winded post. Read if you can tolerate the emo wish-wash of a graduating student. ;)
I had just made one of the cross country photos my profile picture when I had a moment.. One of those moments that make you sit back and think how far you've come. One of those moments that make you wonder, What was I doing one year ago???
Of course for most of the seniors, I heard cross was a different place then. It was more competitive.
As for myself, I was happily carrying out my second stint as an appointment holder in my faculty club. I was initially very excited for the role as I would be given more responsibility, meet more people, and hopefully learn more and develop stronger leadership and perhaps interpersonal skills. There were drawbacks. Gone were my free days now filled with meetings after meetings after meetings. I constantly met new people, to the extent I had more year 1s on facebook than people in my batch, but I never really knew them. Before I knew it, I was counting down to the end of my term..
3 years in NUS and what did I have to show for it? 2 years of slogging my butt off for my faculty club and 1 semester of exchange. I needed change in my life. I could not keep up this hectic lifestyle nor could I become an antisocial hermit in my final year.
Joining cross was actually something I did on impulse. I had just handed over to the new management committee and was officially free! I was eager to try new things and first on the list was joining Cross. (Not to mention Tricia and I signed up for stanchart marathon and I desperately needed to train up! :P)
I remember being introduced to Mel Tan. She was so bubbly and cheerful and made me feel so welcome despite being such an old fogey. Slowly slowly I got to know the rest of the team, but I still felt a little distant. I was a year 4 amidst the many competent year 1s. I came to training sporadically. I was never really interested in performing well. Just building up my stamina..
And then came Datuk... In 2 days, I bonded with my fellow team mates and Cross-country suddenly become something close to my heart. It was no longer just a cca. I felt motivated to improve, I was eager to know my fellow team mates better. I started coming to every training. I started to hang out with the team and go for outings together. We study together, we have dinner/supper together.
As each month goes by, I get closer and closer to you guys and it makes it harder for me to think about my departure from NUS this coming May.
And then there was the carnival today. You really see the team come together in this carnival. We were each in a 4x100m team, otherwise we played a part in organising and bringing this event together. You truly see team work.. Something that you would normally expect individual long-distance runners to lack.
But the highlight was really Melvin's performance. I always had the mentality that since I joined the team late, I was like a stray they took in. I was really really REALLY touched to hear my name, not just once, but twice in his song. It showed me that he (and therefore the team) feels the same way about me, as the way I feel about them.
My last exam will be in April, marking the end of my university life. I will miss coming to trainings on Tuesday and Friday evenings. I will miss watching each birthday performance and eating the yummy cakes!
Just a little something I want to tell you my fellow team mates..
Even though we've known each other a little less than a year, I sincerely hope we will be friends for life. (:
♥ val
After writing this i felt super saddddd I was leaving. :( I almost changed my fb profile to emoshit lol. But then i'd need to explain to all the kaypohs what it was about lol.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
i was fooling around with this photostudio thing earlier.. TADA! Me with my nikki love. (:
Saturday, March 20, 2010
It's been awhile since I last blogged. I SUCK at this lol.
I basically re-started a blog so that I have some form of journal of what has been going on in my life and how I deal with it. I sometimes find it very therapeutic to read what I have wrote in the past.
Also I thought it would help in my studies to apply what I have learnt in my life. :D
Right now, i'm reading this article, the science of happiness, for my MNO module under Dan Mac. It basically tells you that you can make yourself happier through certain practices and I'm going to try one of their recommendations! (:
Write down 3 things that went well today and why. :D The other practices are doing good deeds and performing gratitude exercises (basically thanking important people for what they have done for you).
Maybe I'll do this later today as I've only been awake for like 3 hours? =P
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
My 'highlight' of the day was the recce run at bedok reservoir today.
E, YX, N and myself went down after 4 today. i rushed to school to meet them coz as usual, I woke up very late.
The run at bedok was pretty uneventful, i enjoyed most of the car ride talking to eric and yx. Otherwise i was really stoned. We ate at Katong once again and ordered half a chicken, and a few extras. It amounted to $32.60 --> $8 per person. I was a little put off at having to pay so much, as i thought chicken rice.., the MOST expensive it could be would be at most $5! Not to mention i didn't order the $1.50 barley drink and I didn't touch the vegetable that N was so insistent on buying. :((( These things are always so unfair, but what can i do?? =/
I took the train home and was playing with Momo when GC called. He was studying in school earlier and was on his way home. I told him to come over and play with Momo haha. I also wanted to talk.
During dinner, M called YX and found out they did the recce run today. He also found out i went. He then sent me this sms immediately after hanging up:
Hey Val, some of the girls wanted to go to bedok reservoir today but they didn't know beforehand. Met them at the track. If possible, keep them in the loop.
I was so mad. I felt unjustly accused as i did not intentionally NOT inform the girls. I assumed E got someone to ask around, and I was not even going to come to training today! Going to the recce run was a last minute decision as I initially had other plans which got cancelled. T and GC think i'm reading too much into this and M truly is not like that. However, why didn't he ask me what happen instead of jumping to the conclusion that i deliberately left them out. And I AM SURE HE MEANT THAT. READ THAT MSG AGAIN AND TELL ME HE'S NOT SAYING THAT I SHOULD HAVE INFORMED THEM.
