Melancholia & Nostalgia

Sometimes I feel I have too much free time.

Yes that's why I'm going to find a job. So that I can do something productive with my life, earn lots of money, buy lots of things to make me a happy girl haha.

I wonder if these feelings will be better once I have a job *sighs*. Right now I feel like I'm overreliant on my cross team mates. Like.. I'm using them to fill up the gap that were once my friends in business school. I have broken all contact with all friends from bizad. Whyyyy??

I don't rightly know.. I think they have broken contact with me too. Like they take his side? I mean.. I get it I really do. But how much time has to pass before they will willingly seek me out for my company? Then again, I think I did this to myself. I was content to be their friend through J, and not by any other means.

I keep seeing photos, status updates, wall-to-walls, all spamming my minifeed, and I feel so excluded. I kinda miss hanging out with my friends but like.. I don't know how to begin. :(

Then there are the juniors I thought I was close to. Did I distance myself from them too? Is the perceived 'generation' gap only put there by me? Why do they not contact me? :(

I am a horrible friend. I hate smsing.. and smses are like the most direct contact possible already.. short of calling.

I always get caught up in my life at the moment.. How do I keep grounded to those that are impt to me?

I'm so glad Cheng and Jit bother to call me up to meet up. I am sucha sucky friend and yet they make me feel like I'm someone important in their lives..

I miss xt. She's been asking me out too but I've been to absorbed in my own little world to meet up with her. That will have to change!

Wanted to do a short photo log of people impt to me.. Who have made a difference in my life.. Think will do so later. I just spent like 4 hours picking and uploading/grabbing from fb! >.<